Last night was my 6th night of stims (I do all 3 shots around 11pm) and that’s all going pretty well. The shots have been easier than I thought and there’s very little discomfort – thank goodness. I’ve had very few side effects thus far (though I’m no fool, I know they’re coming and will likely sneak up like little ninjas) – day 2 I had a dull headache, day 3 a bit of a stomach ache and there’s been some minor bruising from the needles in my belly. I’m affectionately calling these bruises “Gut Shiners.” They don’t hurt, but they’re these dime-sized purple circles circumnavigating my belly button.
Had my first scan yesterday (after 5 nights of stims) to see how my body’s responding to the drugs and how eggtown is percolating. She found 8 follicles worth measuring, though said there were many more that were smaller and might catch up by the time I have my next ultrasound on Friday. I didn’t know how to feel about 8. I didn’t know if that’s good or crappy. I mean, I’m no spring chicken in this game so I’m not looking for crazy numbers, and the internet is has a broad spectrum of who’s got how many but I drove home wondering…”what’s 8?”
I wasn’t feeling bad about the number but I wasn’t feeling great and I am trying to fight the good fight to remain positive. Lest you think I’m full of rah-rah all the time, you’re definitely wrong. I love/hate those people. They’re right up there with folks who wake up chipper and expect me to do the same. I have my crapass days like anyone else….but I try not let them keep the upper hand. Also, I am hyper-analytical and can OVER-THINK the slightest details…..so you put something like a first IVF scan and 8 follicles in front of me and the hamster on the wheel inside my brain just starts running.
The negative started to tip the scales a bit….and then an odd thing happened:
The theme to Eight is Enough popped into my head.
Eight is Enough? The 1970s tv show? Haven’t thought of it in years? Yeah, well neither had I. Oh, you haven’t heard of it? Well, maybe you’re not in your 40s.
The show followed patriarch Tom Bradford (played by Dick Van Patten) through the adventures of parenting his eight growing children, 3 boys (Willie Aames, Grant Goodeve and Adam Rich) and 5 daughters, whose names I could Google, but so could you. It was a family-comedy-drama, they got into all sorts of mischief and they got through everything together.
My point is: the lyrics to the theme song are supes cornballs, but the main hook is “eight is enough to fill our lives with love.”
And it made me feel better.
I had an improv teacher who often told us “energy is a choice.” Well, so is perspective. So for right now, or for the 48 hours between my first and second scan, eight is going to be enough. Eight potential follicles. Eight chances for a healthy egg. Eight chances at a baby.
So Dick Van Patten? Thanks for doing me this tiny solid by having that song pop in my head and making me feel better about my first IVF scan.
There’s a magic in the early morning we’ve found
When the sunrise smiles on everything around
It’s a portrait of the happiness that we feel and always will
Eight is enough to fill our lives with love
We spend our days like bright and shiny new dimes
If we’re ever puzzled by the changing times
There’s a plate of homemade wishes on the kitchen window sill
And eight is enough to fill our lives with love