Christmas Eve & 2 More Sleeps

It’s Christmas Eve (or Tuesday for any of you not playing along) which puts us 1 sleep away from Christmas presents and 2 sleeps away from our first beta to see how IVF3 will go down in the record books. Sure, I could take a home test here tomorrow but we’ve decided that a) the blood test is far more conclusive and b) WHY DO THAT TO OURSELVES ON CHRISTMAS!!!  I mean why. For real. It’s one more day. I’m 10dp3dt (10 days past a 3 day transfer) so I could even likely know now….but let’s bump it off and make the results even clearer with a bloodtest on Thursday. 

I’m feeling fine. Yesterday I felt off and wonky a better part of the day – crampy and sleepy…..which sure I could read into, and it’s hard not to….but I’m doing my best to just shake it off. Besides I feel mostly normal today.  As Scrooge said to the ghost of Jacob Marley, “You may be an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of an underdone potato.”  Yesterday’s cramps could have been Sunday night’s veggie chili or too many cups of chai tea latte/hot cocoa/egg nog.  ‘Tis the season.

The hubbo and I are both home today and we’re mostly being vegetables: lounging on the couch watching movies, wrapping some last gifts, taking the dog on numerous very short walks as it’s 5 degrees in Chicago and generally having a really nice lazy day.

I hope all of you are well and enjoying the holiday….or having the best Tuesday of your lives.

10dp3dt Another Wait Almost Over

So here we are, deep into the two week wait….2ww if you’re in the know. Specifically we’re 10dp3dt (10 days past 3 day transfer if you’re not in the know).  The time has passed pretty well, some days pass slowly, some quickly and I’ve kept myself busy with distractions: plenty of movies (Go see Gravity in 3D already!), some delicious home cookin’ and lots of knitting.

Hey look! Pictures:

MaryPatBlanketIMG_20131011_091024_077 HocVrLvdDeoekpbqzacpbhX2UhvCoV7n14IFr9gmR2s

Yes, I could take a home pregnancy test, but why do that to myself? The blood test at the doctor’s office is much more definitive and for me, that’s a safer bet for my emotional well-being.  If you’re one of those folks who start peeing on a stick right after the transfer or as soon as the test “might” detect pregnancy hormones – good for you! For me, that would make me crazy and these days (especially these days) I’m all about what’s best for me. Keep peeing on your sticks ladies, but I won’t be joining you.

As for symptoms I’m not reading into anything, as I’ve been giving myself shots of progesterone in oil (PIO for anyone who cares) since the night of the retrieval and added estradiol/estrogen pills nightly since the 8th….so really, ANYTHING I’m feeling could easily be attributed to DRUGS not normally in my person.  However, just to put it out there, the last few days I’ve felt short periods of mild cramping and today extended periods (like since I woke up) of mild cramping, some odd gastrointestinal mischief, some slight overall “blahness” and maybe some additional sleepiness.

But again – symptomatic of what we’re hoping for or just side effects of meds?

Who’s to say?

On a plus note, I have my Progesterboobs back. Progesterboobs are boobs you get as a result of progesterone. It’s like magic. They’re just noticeably a bit….fuller. I’ll take ’em.

And I’ll say it again with these progesterone shots: LET THE NEEDLE DO THE WORK. None of this jabbing and sticking and running start business. I quite literally rest the needle on my fanny cheek, gently (GENTLY!!!) push and wait…..and wait a little more…..after a few seconds, it just sinks in and there’s barely any discomfort. I in no way think I have an exceedingly high pain threshold – I just think I’ve found a pretty efficient fairly pain-free scenario. Also, no men in the bathroom during shot time – it just prolongs the issue and adds to the tension and discomfort. I know it’s all “for better and for worse” but if there’s ANY chance you can get yourself to the point of doing your own shots: DO IT. YOU ARE ALREADY A ROCKSTAR FOR GOING THROUGH IVF. Once you can give yourself shots YOU ARE UNSTOPPABLE!

Needle rant finished. Sorry.

Monday morning I’ve got a blood test that’ll give us our “move forward” information:  1) yay we’re pregnant and we move forward as pregnant people or 2) we’re not pregnant and we talk to The Russian about what to do next…..stay with her, see someone else she recommends, try something different, try the same thing.  Our insurance allows us up to 4 tries (bless that Illinois mandate) so we’ll try again right away if need be.

2 more sleeps until we know which way we’re headed.

A smidge pregnant for the weekend

Turns out, you CAN be “a little bit” pregnant.

We had our 1st beta yesterday morning (10dp3dt) and I was told to look for the information online sometime after 3pm. I’m sure you’re asking, “why online instead of by phone?” That’s a legit question. The Russian’s right hand explained to me that they’ve found that people like to have some control over when they find out. A phone call could catch you awkwardly in line at the Piggly Wiggly or something. Online at the clinic’s secure “portal” system lets you check when you want, when you’re ready and either alone or with your hubbo.

Regarding pregnancy blood tests, a little research led me to the following information:

There are actually two different types of blood pregnancy tests, also called pregnancy serum tests. One type, called a quantitative blood pregnancy test (or a beta hCG test), measures the exact amount of hCG in the blood, while a qualitative blood pregnancy test simply provides confirmation of the presence of hCG, and a “yes” or “no” answer for pregnancy. If the blood pregnancy test reveals that hCG is under 5 mIU/ml, then the test will be considered negative. If the level of hCG is determined to be between 5 and 25 mIU/ml, this is said to be anequivocal result, and another test should be performed in a few days to confirm pregnancy.

I don’t actually know what our number was, only that it was “lower than they like.” I’m actually glad not to have an exact number as it would only lead to me scouring the internet for information that I’d over-analyze and worry over, instead of just waiting and seeing what comes of the next test.

I’m out of town Monday so I’ll go back Tuesday to test again. The 2nd beta will show us if the numbers have gone up or down and we’ll have a better sense of if we’re in Yes-ville or Not-This-Time-vakia.

While I was in the office I went ahead and asked when we could start IVF #2 if in fact we need to. Depending on the clinic (and/or your individual situation) you may need one or more natural cycles before putting the factory back into overdrive or you might go back on birth control pills and then into another IVF right away. Luckily, I fall into the latter category and the next go around I’ll likely only need 2-3 weeks of birth control (instead of five this past time due to holiday scheduling, etc).

So for me, even with the vague test results, I feel like I got good news all around. On one hand, I MIGHT just be knocked up and on the other hand, if I’m not, I can get right back in the game and we can try again.

Which brings me to this little gal, discovered while I was walking the dog the other day:

FairyGodmotherSidewalk

For me, whoever launched sidewalk chalk as a product line is a friggin genius. Kids (and adults) get to create little pieces of art to while away time expressing themselves and canine amblers such as myself get to be given random little influctions of joy.

It was Thursday when I encountered the little blue fairy godmother from Cinderella, either drawn by a flippin child genius or by an exceedingly cool adult who likely made some little girl’s day, and I was immediately struck by the following thought:

Keep the faith.  

Actually, two thoughts, the second of which was “yay a drawing!”

Cinderella’s a sweet dreamer with animal friends – they do the chores together and sing songs (careful, if you’re the least bit hormonal these lyrics will make your eyes leak):

A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you’re fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling thru
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true

Poor Cinderella gets repeatedly dissed by her lousy step-sisters who also bait-and-switch her into thinking she’s gonna go to the big dance. I mean, all she wants is to go to the friggin ball, wear a pretty dress and feel like an effing lady. We’ve all been there.

And then, when Cinderella starts to lose faith in her dreams, along comes her Fairy Godmother to give her a bit of hope.

So as I spend this weekend in pregnancy-limbo, I say thanks to whoever drew that chalk drawing and thanks to my dog for wanting to walk down that street.

And I hear ya Fairy Godmother, I see what you’re trying to do:

I’ll keep on believing and figure that for now at least, I’m pregnant-ish.