Early Pregnancy Announcements: Ew.

Tuesday, a guy I know posted a photo on his Facebook with the caption:

so… it’s super early- and really, a lot could go wrong. but I’m too excited to keep it a secret. 
my wife put it best… “so… this happened today.”

The photo was of course of a positive pregnancy test:

 url

 So basically, they announced their pregnancy when they’re about a whiff’s worth of pregnant.

I’ve always been one of those “wait all the way through the first trimester” kind of gals. I’m superstitious and old-fashioned that way. Now that I’ve a) had a miscarriage, b) known folks who miscarried and c) found out just how common miscarriages are, I find myself even more superstitious and leery of letting the cat out of the bag early.

I mean, I’m happy for them, of course I am (though I won’t lie to you guys…..it also stings to know that JUST ONE MORE person is pregnant before me) but it just seems like SUCH A BAD IDEA to post that picture on the Facebooks when they’re all of what….4 or 5 weeks pregnant?

I feel shitty for this kind of judgment.

It’s interesting though – as a lady writing about her struggles and quests, I realize that if I get pregnant (IF, I said IF….I can dream) I’ll be telling the faceless online support group of fellow questers that it’s worked likely after the first few betas. But it sort of feels like we’re all in this together – the joy of one keeps a mess of us going in a way, “It worked for her, it could for me.”

There was a side thought to my seeing that photo:

They don’t know they’re rubbing their fertility in the noses of a mess of people.

Why would they?

Would I have known if none of this had been a problem?

No, I wouldn’t have.

There’s an innocence that I’ve lost. That many of us have lost. The innocence that tells us to shout out joyous news from the rooftops. That everyone will be happy. Who wouldn’t be happy to hear that there’ll be a new little life in the world?

However:

Between them they know like 900 people….the sheer law of averages means a few people on that list are having a rough go getting pregnant or worse yet, have lost one to miscarriage.

They’re excited. I get it. But take a breath.

And yes, I know I’m a bit of an asshole with this – but it’s my blog, and it’s a safe place.