So the test cycle continues and Thursday I had a hysterosonogram. I was asked to take a pregnancy test just to super dot the i’s and cross the t’s confirm that there was nothing going on in there and of course the one test I had at home ended up not working. So, I got up super-dupes early so that I could get on the road and pick up a test on the way to my 8am appointment. I mean, it’s the big city, most places are open 24 hours, but I apparently picked the CVS and the Walgreens that didn’t fall into that category…and while the Jewel-Osco I stopped at technically WAS open, they had no electricity. I was greeted by a shrugging and apologetic employee on the other side of the door….the other side because without electricity the automatic doors couldn’t open.

Long story short, there was lots of traffic, I had to pee, it took a long-ass time to get to Dr. Hail Mary’s office in Naperville (I usually go to the Schaumburg office, but that’s where he was on Thursday) and I ended up getting a test close to the office (along with a chocolate milk….wonder what that check-out clerk thought on the HPT/Chocolate milk combo) and took it in the lobby bathroom. Negative as expected.

So the hysterosonogram. Basically, it feels like a pap smear meets ultrasound with a little extra cramping. It was NOTHING like the HSG test which took a few years off my life.  I found this information on the interwebs:

A hysterosonogram is a procedure that allows doctors to examine the inside of the uterus and check for abnormalities with the use of ultrasound, which uses sound waves to produce an image.
 A hysterosonogram can be a valuable diagnostic test for a wide variety of problems. It can identify abnormalities in the uterus, which can be very useful in finding underlying causes for those who suffer from dyspareunia (pain during sexual intercourse), reproductive problems such as infertility or frequent miscarriage, or menorrhagia (uncommonly heavy or painful menstrual periods), and can help doctors identify uterine fibroids, polyps, or other growths, abnormalities, or lesions in the uterine wall.
To perform the procedure, the doctor begins by inserting an ultrasound device into the vagina, and checking for abnormalities in the uterus and ovaries. Then, a device called a speculum is used to open the vagina and expose the cervix. The doctor cleans and possibly numbs the cervix, then inserts a small tube through the cervix and into the uterus. The tube pumps a harmless, sterile saline solution into the uterus, which expands the uterus and makes it easier to see. Then, the doctor uses the ultrasound probe in the vagina to generate an image of the expanded uterus for a few minutes. After examining the image of the uterus, the doctor removes the probe, and the saline solution drains from the uterus. The procedure is usually not painful, but the patient may experience cramps similar to those that happen during her period when the tube is inserted into the cervix or when the uterus is filled with saline solution. If desired, an over the counter pain remedy, such as Advil or Tylenol, may be taken before the procedure to maximize comfort. This, however, should be cleared with the physician first.

The test went just fine and the doc said that everything looked beautiful, so that was nice to hear. He also gave me the news that the AMH and FSH tests were back, and as suspected (and as before) my AMH is a little lower than they’d like and my FSH is a little higher than they’d like. I’m 43 and the numbers are pretty typical for my age range. He wants to redo the FSH test next week – he said sometimes that number can fluctuate, so likely that’ll get tested next week or the week after.

The good news is that my antral (resting) follicle count was 11 which is considered good for a lady my age. The antral follicle count gives an indication of how many potential eggs might be produced during the cycle. Dr. Hail Mary liked that number and feels that so far everything’s looking good to get going next cycle.

Next peek in there will be Monday (Day 13 of my cycle).

IVF#1 Close but no cigar

Well campers, the second round of beta numbers are in and sadly the HCG (pregnancy hormone) levels went down.  Not what we wanted, but certainly something we knew was an option. UGH! Man, did I want those numbers to go up!!

Yes, I’m sad.

Yes, I’m disappointed.

Yes, I’ve had some tears.

But hey, I failed my first driver’s test, too…..so why should I get this on the first try either?

In all the improv I teach, two of the things I press on my students is the importance of moving things forward and that you can’t be afraid to fail.   Who would I be if I didn’t try to follow my own advice?

I know that we did our very best, we ate well, I opted not to drink booze or caffeine (hubbo cut way back on the coffee) and we followed all of The Russian’s advice and orders.  I have no regrets and knew going in that it would likely take more than one try.

Did I get a little cocky when I got that initial positive pregnancy test?

A tiny bit.

But I knew the number was low and that we weren’t out of the woods.  Luckily, I have a habit of not getting overly excited about something until it’s really happening….like big trips, I don’t tend to get excited until I’m actually packing.

However, don’t think that my hopes weren’t up just a little bit. Sure they were. Wouldn’t yours be?

Also, don’t go thinking I have my emotions on a light switch – I’m sad and I’ll be sad, but even now I’m laughing at an episode of Whose Line Is It Anyway? There’s just only so much energy I can give to being sad. Life is too short.

And just to address it: yes, there’s a part of me that’s afraid none of this will work. For my own well-being, I just choose to keep those thoughts tucked away for the time being.  If there’s any shot of this working, it’s going to be because I choose to blow sunshine and rainbows up my own butt over and over again to keep things positive.

Moving forward: no more progesterone or estradiol, I wait for my period which should start sometime during the next 10 days at which point I call The Russian’s office to head in for an ultrasound and to start up the ole birth control again.

The fat lady has far from sung and it’s on to IVF #2.